'Tis.

Last night we were talking with family about how Gabs 6th birthday party is in a few weeks.  I thought about how it felt like we were just planning her first birthday party, and in as many years into the future, we will be planning a party for a pre-teen.  Gulp - what an eye-opener.  Just a few years ago we were buying simple puzzles and baby dolls, and now her wish list is craft items, Pokémon and Shopkins.  Back then, her friends were our friends kids, little ones we have always known, and now we are mixing in some friends from school and karate, and she even had her first phone call from a friend at school last week to schedule a play date. 

Christmas was a wonderful, loud, crazy blur of food and travel and presents and giggling and snuggles and kids sleeping in carseats and hatchimal dreams coming true and cookies and all the wonder that Christmas brings.  It was a marvelous 4 day weekend, but I was so looking forward to spending a quiet day at home, catching up, taking down the tree.  Today we did a few errands and came home to clean up the mess from Christmas.  The girls really really wanted to watch The Santa Clause 2 and begged and begged for it.  We have 3 days worth of stuff to clean up, laundry to do, dishes to wash... the very thought of the list exhausts me.  Then I remembered that one day soon, they won't want to play with us after Christmas, nor will they want to snuggle up and watch Christmas movies on December 26.  One day they won't beg to leave the Christmas tree up a few more days, extending *that feeling* just a little bit longer.  

I looked at my piles of piles, and realized that the piles would have to wait another day - today was going to be for snuggles and movies and laziness.  Today I kissed my babies and we all watched a movie as a family for awhile.  'Tis the season. 

I woke up with a husband, 2 kids, 2 dogs and a cat in our bed - we were packed in there like sardines, and my back was achy from being forced to share space and sleep on the very edge of the bed.  The girls came down in the night, looking for some "night time snuggles".  I sighed and smiled, thinking, "It won't always be this way."

I showered and got my family ready, with everyone running in different directions, with kids who are easily distracted, as their crazy emotional mommy runs around the house in a state of haphazard dress, barking out commands like a drill sergeant.  "Brush your teeth!  Brush your hair!  Please eat in the kitchen; not the bathroom!  Where's your backpack?  Are your morning chores done?!" - the whole time thinking to myself, "It won't always be this way."

It was crazy hair day at school, and my kindergartner and I were having creative differences over what that should look like. Eventually I just said "We're going to do it my way." - then she was so excited for how it turned out that I was rewarded with many hugs.  Our arguments meant they doing her hair took a half hour, and getting out the door was no easy feat this morning, especially with a tantrum for how a hooded shirt won't fit in a fall jacket without feeling lumpy to my texture-sensitive kiddo.  Then I thought, "It won't always be this way."

Our daycare provider had an appointment this morning so I kept our four-year-old a couple of hours later than usual. I took her to Walmart to look at the toys and pick up a couple of things, then we went to Starbucks for a treat.  At Walmart she wanted to look at every single baby doll and baby doll accessory and, "Oh Mommy, could you please lift me so I can see the baby up on that tall shelf?".  At Starbucks she got a water and a cookie, then sat at the bar and watched the baristas making drinks for all of the other people around us, very intently observing everything that they did and declaring that when she grows up she wants to be a Starbucks Maker.  I sipped my latte, trying to tell myself to stop worrying about the work waiting at my desk, because "It won't always be this way."

Home for the day and it's chaos - stories about who had the coolest hair, and "Eat your dinner!", and "Please don't push your baby doll stroller down the slide!", and bickering and craziness while I basically just try to wolf down my dinner and Joel works in the garage.  At bath time they were loud and crazy and messy and giggling and splashing and fighting and water went everywhere and there was more Sergeant Mom.  Then pajamas and settling in for bed and begging for one more snack, one more treat, one more show... while I thought, "It won't always be this way." 

Then, bedtime.  Kisses and hugs and sweet lullabies on my phone, and she's asleep within 10 minutes, snuggled into her bed with her baby doll, making that little "mmmmm" sound she makes to put herself to sleep, that she somehow still makes after she dozes off.  Joel is putting Gabs to bed and our house is dark and quiet.  "It won't always be this way."

"It won't always be this way."  How can one sentence have so many meanings?  A light at the end of the tunnel.  A relief.  A frustration.  A whisper to myself either as a reminder to just survive the day, or to relish in how special our "ordinary" days are.  A bittersweet feeling that puts a lump in my throats and brings tears to my eyes.  

I can't wait to spend some family time together this weekend... after all.... 

It won't always be this way.  

1920 days

Today Gabs asked how many days she has been on this world.  Her mind is so curious right now - I love it.  She's working on earning getting her ears pierced, and she chose star earrings for the piercing because they're learning about planets at school.  Everything is intriguing to her - a lesson at every turn.  

So, I turned to google to see how many days she is.  1,920.  

1,921 days ago, my heart only remained in my body - it did not exist outside of me, a part of it with this adorable, sweet blonde baby.  Then 580 days later, split again into a precocious, beautiful auburn-haired baby.  1,921 days ago, I didn't really know the entirety of humility, love and sacrifice.  I didn't understand how my priorities would change 180 degrees. 1,921 days ago I was a GREAT parent, full of opinions and ideals of how we would parent our child(ren).  1,921 days ago, I was working on earning all of my "good mom" badges for my invisible, but ever-important SuperMom sash.  

1,921 days ago I didn't understand my friends who were moms that cried at TV commercials, or how they didn't mind cleaning up from kids with the stomach flu, or how their kids achievements were their own.  How wise I was, 1,921 days ago.  

Thank you kiddos... For the last 1,920 days.  The good, the bad, the days when all I want to do is hold you, and those when I count down to your bedtime.  They have been the best for your dad and me.  

My funny Valentine.

Today was the Valentines party at Gabbie's school.  It was her first "school party", and she was SO excited.  We sat down three times this week so she could write out valentines for each of the kids in her class, I laid out a pink and red outfit for her to wear, and she even got to wear a little body spray this morning so she could smell extra "Valentine-y".  

When we picked her up from daycare, I noticed that her backpack had a lot of treats and little valentines cards in it.  We got home and sorted out all of her swag.  Cards, stickers, lollipops, mini candy bars... It's the stuff of a 5 year old's dream.  Then I saw it - a little box of Russell Stover chocolates.  Not the usual classroom variety, but a 3 piece box with a heart taped to it.  "To: Gabbie From: Jake".

Awwww.  ❤️

Her buddy from school and the bus, her friend who came to her birthday party last month, had brought her a little box of chocolates.  

It warmed my momma heart to see this, but it also made me realize how quickly she's growing.  Wasn't it just a few days ago that I dressed her in a ladybug-themed Valentine outfit, at the ripe old age of 1 month?  

In a blink, she's growing. 

Snuggling.

When your dad and I switch off putting you to bed, sometimes it's a nightmare (pun not intended).  You fight with me, you fight with each other, you are needy, you cry, you argue over blankets and babies and pillows and night lights and who is touching whom... You get my point.  

When it's my turn, once I know that you have both fallen asleep, I usually try to wait until the song I'm listening to on my phone is over so that I can spend just a couple of minutes with you are you are both peaceful (and quiet).

Tonight as I was getting ready to leave, I decided to stay for one more song, and then I looked over and saw this beautiful sight.  In that moment, it made all of the bickering go away, even if only for one night. 

I love you both. 

Christmastime bird

We were leaving Nana and Hugos tonight after looking at Christmas lights, and Hugo  stopped under his misteltoe and explained to Delilah that misteltoe means that you kiss the other person.  She smiled, then flipped him the bird.  

Yup.  

Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal.  😁

Baby Logic.

Delilah is obsessed with baby dolls - like, really really obsessed.  She takes them everywhere, plays with them all the time, talks about them... The whole bit.  Tonight after her older sister fell asleep, Lilah spent 12 minutes organizing her 6 babies on her bed for sleep.  Lined them up, put the non-animal babies on a pillow (for comfort, of course) and tucked them in.  Then I told her to choose 2 to sleep with.  Her go-to is a bald Cabbage Patch doll from the 80s that she named Ariel, who is caked in dirt from not letting us wash her.  This baby goes everywhere.  Then she chose a baby with a hat and braids, but this was a tough choice.  She struggled that the baby shouldn't go to sleep in a hat, and that the braids might hurt the baby while she slept, and got very upset when I explained that the baby has to wear the hat and braids because that's how she was made.  Then she realized that Disney will not likely let her baby or blanket into the park in a few weeks.  I really hope the excitement from the park overrules the need to take them along, or it may be a long few days....