Texture love.

Last night, we stayed with friends out of town.  Joel slept with Gabs, and I slept with Delilah.  Since she's still in a crib at home, we don't usually sleep "with" her, and it was an interesting thing to observe her falling asleep.  

2 years ago for Christmas, I had toddler size quilts made for each of the girls from their flannel baby receiving blankets.  The backside is a very soft material and they are edged in satin.  In the last few months, Delilah has become obsessed with her blanket. She can't sleep without it and when we're home getting ready for bed she has to have it with her while she watches her show.  I jokingly call her Linus (from the Peanuts comics).

As she was getting settled in for bed last night, she kept humming and rubbed the satin part of the blanket against her face. She did this until she dozed off. A few hours later, she rolled out of bed which woke her up a little bit, and we started the process of the rubbing and the humming over again.  

I'm thinking that when she gets older, I will have to have a new blanket made that can grow with her so that she always  has the soft satin edging.  :)

Moment in time.

It's been several weeks since I updated the blog. Honestly, life is just getting in the way. We had a lot going on which I will update more on later this week.

I really just wanted to come on to say at this moment, on this day, my heart is very full of love for my children. I read them a story before bed, got them all tucked in with their favorite blankets and stuffed animals, and we listened to some soothing music as they fell asleep.

Every night when I put them to bed, Gabrielle hold onto my hand until after she is asleep. Sometimes it bothers my tendinitis, but then I try to remind myself that it won't be this way forever; in fact it won't be this way for much longer, I'm sure.  Every night she tries to delay bedtime by asking for extra hugs and kisses, and I delightedly oblige.

These are the moments that I cannot capture on the camera to remember later. I know: I have tried.

So, I record these moments here to remind me later, when my children will want nothing to do with me.

Word police.

Gabbie frequently picks up words that aren't intended for her ears.  Most times, we ignore it, but the big ones get addressed.  Curse words, phrases that are too mature for a 3 year old, etc.  

As I was putting the girls to bed this evening, she said something to her sister about getting fat.  WHAT?!  

We literally never use that word.  There are about a half dozen words that I don't believe in, and we don't use them; that's one of them.  Even when I am feeling that way, I never ever say it around them.  So, where did she get it?  

She's too young to say that word, and even moreso, in context. It kind of freaks me out that she used it in the "right" context the first time I ever heard her say it.  

Honestly, I don't even know how many people really read this. I don't publish my blog for people to read; this is more as a list of anecdotes about my children for them to see when they are older. However, if you are one of those people that might be reading this right now, please know this: children understand what you're saying and they observe how you say it to use in context when they talk, to make themselves sound smart like grown-ups around them.  Toddlers don't learn how to speak from reading books; they learn from watching the people around them.  This is why my children are very well-versed in words like latte and actually.  :). 

Sweet talker.

So here's a little-known fact: Gabrielle absolutely loves to cuddle and her favorite place to cuddle is in mom and dad's bed.  Every time it Joel's turn to take her up to bed, she tries to coerce him into going into his bed and snuggling her there instead.

Tonight was no exception. She was pleading to go to sleep in the "big" bed, but her daddy stayed firm and told her that she needs to go to sleep in her own big bed.  Then she started sweet talking him. She asked if he wanted to hold her hand and he said sure.  Then she offered up a snuggle, saying that "we could snuggle, if you want to."  He asked if she wanted him to snuggle in her bed, and she said "no, my bed is too small. But we could go into your bed..."

Sneaky little tot.  :D

End of an era.

This evening for bed, we put Lilah in Gabbies old doctor onesie.  When Lilah was a newborn, we got them matching onesies to wear, and now she's getting too big for the biggest size.  I generally don't yearn much for "yesterday", but the end of the onesie era makes me a little sad, I have to say.  

She turned 2 last week - we had a Bubble Guppies party with lots of playing in the water.  She has this crazy independent streak, needs to "do it self", and has to do everything that her big sister does.  She is so much sassier than Gabbie was at this age, and she knows it.  

So, here's to the end of this era.  Our spirited, sassy, too-smart baby is passing another milestone.  Sure, it's a very small, odd milestone, but sometimes those ones mean more than the ones that are represented in a baby book.  

Bedtime.

Bedtime is a long, drawn out battle these days. Because the girls both sleep in the same room, getting them to bed, to sleep at the same time takes a lot of effort and patience.  We start the process of getting ready for bed and hour before we actually go upstairs. We change into our pajamas, watch a show, have a little bit of milk, and wind down for the night.  Then we go upstairs and read a book for a while as we're getting settled in.  Once the book is finished, we find all of the necessary blankets, pillows and stuffed animals - and it's lights out and into bed they go.  

This is when the fun begins. The girls talk back-and-forth to each other and to whichever parent is on duty that night.  They kick off blankets, ask to be let out of bed, demand more hugs or kisses, more to drink, or "need" to go to the bathroom.  After about 40 minutes of that they really start to settle in. Gabrielle such a cuddle bug that she insists holding hands with the parent who is up there with them until after she falls asleep.

This whole process takes roughly an hour every single night.  In the interest of sanity, we take turns alternating every other night.

Bedtime tonight was particularly challenging, seeing as how Gabrielle alternately insisted on holding my hand, and crying when I held my hand out to her.  

As I was getting ready to sneak out of the room after they both fell asleep, I stopped to take a look at them in their respective beds. I am always so surprised at how beautiful children are when they sleep.  :)

Sweet dreams, my little babies.

Now it's Delilah's turn.

In the interest of fairness, now it's Delilah's turn for her list of 5 things.  

1) Fearlessness.  This little baby of mine is not afraid of anything. She will go down the slide face first, she will run right into the pool to the point where she can't see her toes anymore, and she will do daredevil stair jumps now that her sister never dreamed of doing at not-quite 2 years old.  

2) Food.  Most mornings when we go into her room to take her out of her crib, the first thing she does is ask for food or drink. Sandwich? Bagel? Milk?  If she's upset about something, she's usually easily calmed down with the promise of a cracker.  (A foodie, and a carb junkie, at that!)

3) Smile!  When I take pictures of her she almost never smiles at the camera, no matter how much I asked her to. However, if I ask her to show me her teeth, that's when I usually get the best smiles.

4) Processes.  She's very procedurally-focused. When we go into the bathroom to get ready for the day, she starts to recite to me the things she needs to do and the steps she needs to do to complete them.  

5) Hair.  She has just about the most peculiar hair I've ever seen in a child. In the winter it's much darker, and in the summer it lightens up to almost auburn. It's ringlet curls in some places and stick-straight in others.  People ask me all the time how I think it's going to turn out when she gets older, and I really don't know - it seems to be different almost every day.

Here she is, doing one of her favorite activities. 

5 things about Gabs

Sometimes I feel like in the daily hustle and bustle of life, little things are passing us by.  Today I'm going to document a few things that I love/I would like to remember about our eldest born, Gabrielle.

1) This kid runs on cuddles. I've never seen a kid that loves to snuggle and cuddle as much as she does.  If she's happy: snuggles. If she's sad: snuggles. If she's tired: snuggles.  It's amazing and I love it so much.

2) Kindness and leadership.  She is so kind to others and such a leader with her little sister.  She's always trying to show Delilah how to so something, or trying to help out.  She got to help her daddy with a project today, and she was beaming when she was done.  Can you guess how she celebrated her job well done?  (See above)

3) Curiosity.  She is still incredibly curious about everything. What is this? Where did this come from? Who got me this? What are we doing today? What's the weather like today?  

4) Celebration and enthusiasm.  Everything is cause for celebration. I finished this puzzle! We are going to church today!  We're eating dinner outside today!  I went poop on the potty!  

5) Outdoor play.  She absolutely loves to be outside. If she could wake up, have breakfast, and go outside, only coming in to eat or watch a show, she would do that.  

She's hilarious, sweet, considerate, and getting way too tall for her age.  We are really blessed.  

Eek!

We were getting ready for bed, Gabbie patted my chest and asked what was going on there.  I told her nothing.  She then informed me that there is a baby growing in there.  Ummm... No.  Just no.  

Trouble tots.

So we went for a family walk tonight at the golf course across the street from where we live. The part of the golf course that's nearest us is undeveloped, so it mostly just looks like a well-kept prairie.

I was getting Joel's phone to take a picture of the girls having fun, and I turn around and Delilah had landed in a puddle of mud.  Well, I guess that means the family walk was over.

We came home so they could ride bikes in the driveway.  I went inside to throw her stuffed animal and clothes in the washing machine while Joel was supervising the girls. I came back out and Gabbie was storming around, very upset about something.  As I got closer, she was muttering under her breath, "oh, shit.", over and over.  What?!  

It turns out that her sister plucked a few of Gabrielle's flowers and she was upset about it.  

Just another great summer evening, making family memories!  

Sacrifices.

We are working on getting Gabbie to sleep all night in her bed, and for the last several days she has been working on earning a special book.  She has one night down and has been working on getting the second night that she needs so that she can take this special book to daycare and share it with friends.  Every night before she goes to bed, we talk about how if she sleeps in her big girl bed the entire night, that she could have the book when she wakes up the next day.  Each morning when she has not fulfilled this task we have talked about how I'll try it again the next night.  

Last night as I was putting her to bed she said to me, "Momma, can I sleep in your bed tonight?"  I answered her "no", and reminded her that she still earning her book. She thought about it for minute, and told me I could just put the book in the garbage.

She would rather sacrifice the book and have the cuddle time.  

Aw, my peanut.  

Sourcing

Gabbie is obsessed with where everything came from.  Every single thing.  "Momma, who got me this shirt?" or "Momma, where did my elephant blankie come from?".  

I've never seen anything like this sourcing curiosity.  I'd like to think it's the beginnings of environmental stewardship or Eco-conscientiousness, but I'm pretty sure it's just tot curiosity, which is fine, too.  Instead of "why?", she asks "where?".  

Big girl.

My big girl saw her first sets of fireworks this week.  She loved the first ones, and fell asleep during the second (much louder) ones.  She played on swingsets, dug for buried treasure in the sand, rode bikes, and was the older voice of reason when playing with her little sister.  She negotiated a cookie for good behavior, remembered that her birthday is in January, and ate an entire meal without spilling/wearing any food.  

She told me last week that I am her best friend, and this evening she told me that my new pedicure looked "just perfect".  She asks for me to blow dry her hair after her baths, tries to "logic" her way out of trouble, and has started to flirt with cute boys.  She's growing too fast - this alternately makes my heart swell with pride, and puts a lump of emotion in my throat.  

This evening when I put her to bed, she asked me to sit on her bed and hold her hand until she fell asleep.  

Gladly, baby girl.  Gladly.  

Summer of staycation.

I am a homebody. If I could stay at home and have most of my things brought to me, I would very rarely leave.  However, having children means that I need to go outside of my comfort zone so they can experience new and different things.  We wanted to do a family vacation this year, but it was out of the budget when we sat and worked out the numbers. However, we still wanted to get out and do some different things with the girls, so we decided to explore our state as a family.  This summer we expect to visit Green Bay, Spring Green, Janesville, do some things around Madison, and go to Milwaukee.

Yesterday we took the girls on our first trip of the year. We went to Bay Beach in Green Bay, which is kind of like a combination carnival and little kid amusement park.

They had so much fun!  In spite of the heat, we were there for a few hours, went on the handful of rides and even went on the little train.  The trip was cut a little short because Joel wasn't feeling well due to an allergy flareup.  We intend to go back later this summer, and will spend the whole day there.  Their prices for the most part are still old timey, so it was very affordable for us.  Lilah really liked the train and Gabbie's favorite thing was the helicopters that went in the air.

On our way home, a friend asked us if we wanted to come join them for fireworks since they had a great spot. We decided to keep driving and went down for the girls' first fireworks display! Gabbie did really well and was very excited, even identifying many of the shapes, but Delilah was just a little too tired for the whole display, so we left a little early.

Today we got up and went down to Pecks in Spring Green before going to a family party and Highland.  It was a huge hit! They had baby goats, baby pigs, chickens, geese, potbellied pigs, and a variety of other animals as well as many many things to the kids to play on and around.  We stayed for about an hour before we had to go and I could tell we were going to have to return at a later date to finish this visit as well.

By the time we got home today, Gabbie was begging to just stay home for the day and not go anywhere until tomorrow. It turns out she's a bit of a homebody like her momma.  

I can't wait to see where our next journey will take us in a couple of weeks! I really really love spending this time with my family.

Bay Beach 

Fireworks 

Pecks 

Monkey see...

With the ladies being so close in age, a lot of things are copied between them.  It also means that Lilah is learning some things earlier than Gabs did.  

This weekend she recited about half of the alphabet and counted to 12.  Just last week she was counting to 3, then today from the backseat of the van, I hear "eight, nine, ten, eleven... Twelve!"

Um, what?  Kid, you aren't yet two years old.  Please slow down.  

A few gems....

Today when we were at Target, Gabbie was asking me a question about our cashier's necklace... On her teeth!  Our cashier had braces.  I realized she had never seen braces!  Our very sweet cashier explained that she was trying to make her teeth nice and straight.  It did still give me a chuckle.  

I was at home with the girls and I was doing Gabbie's hair to go to a picnic with our friends from church.  I was particularly frustrated because they have both been a little wound up this afternoon and doing their hair is always a challenge.  As I was putting Gabbie's in her ponytail, she looked up at me and said, "Momma, you are my best friend!", and gave me a hug and kiss!  Then she sang me a little song about being her best friend.  It was literally one of the sweetest moments of my entire life.  

A little boy at the picnic was being kind of rough with her, and I got to see my husband leap in to action in her defense. It was like a glimpse into my future of him defending his daughter against little boys.  

Then this evening we were at home and Joel was working on the van, Gabbie and Lilah were sitting in the front seat buckling and unbuckling themselves.  I was getting prepared for a day trip tomorrow when I heard the van start.  Gabbie started the van!  I thought Joel was going to freak - it really startled him!  

Just a small handful of the little moments I want to write down now, before they get lost in the shuffle of our fast-moving lives...

Today.

Today was a very rough day.  Gabbie was a little under the weather, so she slept by me all night, and was quite active and pretty demanding in her sleep talking.  I got up after a few broken hours of sleep and craved my shower to wake me up.  No hot water - some crap with the pilot light.  So, got ready and off to work, Starbucks in hand.  I had definitely already earned it today.

On and off all morning, my tot was fussy at daycare.  She was tired and kept telling Whitney that she thought her sister wanted to go home... Code for "Get me out of here.".  I am very light on staff at work, so I sent Joel.  He had no sooner gotten her, than she was acting 100% better.  If I hadn't know she had a fever, I would have sworn she was playing hooky...

I left early to take over for him, so he could go back to work (there's no rest for the self-employed...).  She and I hung at home, then we went to get her sister and grab dinner.

For over an hour, they alternately fought with each other and the dog.  Dinner, dessert, toys... Everything was a battle.  I recruited them to help me move more of their toys to the new playroom, and it was time for Lilah to go to bed.  I check in with Joel, and he will be at work for like 3 more hours.  Um, what?!  Like I said, no rest.  

Got Gabs settled into bed an hour later, and am so thankful she immediately passed out.  Momma needs a little break this evening.  

Then, just as I was about to leave the room, I looked at my babies, asleep in their beds.  (They are really the most beautiful when they sleep.).  For a minute, nothing else from the day mattered.  I didn't care that my hair looked awful all day, that I am tired and so so sore, that my house is an absolute wreck from the room-shifting and lack of time to do anything this week, or that I spent the better part of the night taking role-call (yelling for whichever child isn't within my line of sight as we moved the toys).  All that mattered was their cherubic faces.  They were safe in their beds, each holding a stuffed animal, dreaming of whatever an almost 2 year old and 3.5 year old dream of.  

And that's how I knew the day was a success.  

Sweet-taking dawdler.

Well, Miss Delilah didn't want to go to bed tonight. I went in to put Gabbie down and Delilah was still awake and asked for me right away. I took her out and snuggled her for a few minutes, since she never really wants to snuggle, and I went to put her back in. That is when the fit started.

I sent Gabbie back down, so Lilah could have a few minutes of snuggling on her own. So we snuggled together, and we talked and we played a little bit in the rocker and she started to play with my hair.  She touched my hair and said "pretty!", twice.  Man, this kid knows how to get me.  A rare snuggle and a compliment, all at once.  

After a few more minutes of this I had to call Joel in for reinforcements.

Since we moved all three of the bedrooms around, the house is in quite a bit of disarray right now and I have a very big to do list, but getting the snuggles tonight made the delay all worth it.

(A picture of the silliness before the charm kicked in.). 

Old enough.

When the girls are naughty, they go into a corner where we have a little time out stepstool they have to sit on there on the timeout.  Once they are allowed out of the corner, they have to give a hug to apologize to whomever they wronged.  This is Delilah's first time in the timeout corner.  She hit me when I was trying to help her brush her teeth.  

Ahhhh... First haircut, first timeout... These milestones come so quickly.  

Momma's Birthday

So today is my birthday, I am 35 years old. Most people think that once you're out of your 20s you don't care about your birthday as much and it becomes just another day: especially when you have children. I look at birthdays and aging a little bit differently (just within the last year or two).  

I feel like (while it's very sad to say) it's a fact that a lot of people pass away young and they don't have the opportunity to age.  They don't have the opportunity get wrinkles, or have their hair lighten with age.  

While I may change my mind as I do get older and start to see these things happen, I feel like getting older and having it show is kind of a badge of honor. It shows that I have survived a lot of things and I'm still up and kicking.  I could imagine being proud of my laugh lines because they show that I had a lot to laugh about.  It's kind of like the scars I have from my C-sections; they show something that was very important in my life.

Please, be proud to get older; not everyone gets to.  

I love that I get to celebrate another 365 days around the sun with my family, and it doesn't hurt that there's usually cake and presents involved.  :)

This fit...

This fit is brought to you by Gabbie's terrible daddy.  He had the NERVE to turn on her current favorite show when she asked for it.  Can you believe how awful he is?!  

(She gets even more mad when I take the picture.  Then she gets really upset that her cheeks are wet from the tears.)

Boo hoo.

Gabrielle and I were cuddling watching one of her TV shows tonight, and she realized that the characters on her TV shows weren't cuddling. So, she backed away from me and said they're not cuddling either.  

:( 

My girl.

So, we were reading before bed, and Gabbie turns to me and says, "I'm your girl.  My sister is Daddy's girl."  

Ok.  If you say so.  

Hippity hop.

So, a lesser-known fact about me, is that I really don't like rabbits. I'm not a big fan of the Easter bunny, I don't like stuffed rabbits, I don't even like a rabbit picture on a T-shirt for the girls.  They are cute animals, however I'm pretty distrustful of them.

When I looked in our backyard this evening while I was getting the girls ready for bed, I saw that we had two rabbit visitors just a few feet outside the window. I called the girls over to see them and you would have thought we had celebrities performing a live concert in our backyard with how excited they were about it.  

Girls, later in life when you read this, you will have a real understanding of how much I love you that I called you over to see them.  

Wet cheeks.

After a particularly large fit, she was laying in my lap, crying.  

Turns out, she was crying because her cheeks were wet from her own tears.  

Princess hair.

Gabrielle hates to have her hair put up. She would much rather leave it down and have preparation time in the bathroom cut in half. So, when I want to put her hair up, we have to name the hairstyles after different characters on the show she's watching. Today this is how she rocked a Princess Sofia.

I am already dreading the day she catches on this trick.

Hit the ground running.

So when I woke up this morning, I walked past Delilah's room and I could hear her musical elephant was playing. I got ready for work then I went in to get her out of her crib. As soon as she saw me, she stood up, handed me her blanket, asked for milk and wanted to know where her sister was.  When she asks for Gabbie she does that with this valleygirl whine in her voice.  ("Gabbie-yah.")

As soon as I take her out of the crib, she literally hits the ground running, looking for something to do or something to eat. Most days it's all I can do to keep up.

Jokes on me.

So, as if to prove me wrong in a blog post that she didn't know existed, Lilah was all snuggles and "momma, lap!" This evening.  

:). 

They just HAVE to keep me on my toes. 

Touch.

Gabbie always has to be touching someone to fall asleep at night.  If her leg is on mine, or we are holding hands, or even just her foot is touching my knee, she literally cannot fall asleep without it, it seems.  As a baby, I always rocked Gabbie to sleep, then placed her in her crib.  We did this every night until she was 20 months, when her sister was born.  Then she slept fine on her own for about a year, and has been in her current phase for about 9 months.  She's a very cuddly kid - she loves hugs and kisses.  Even when she is having a rough day and we are in the van, if I can hold her hand or rub her foot, it soothes her.  

Lilah is Miss Independent.  She will snuggle for about 3 seconds, then she's off and running again.  She likes to be read to, but prefers to fall asleep on her own.  We had to constantly hold her for several months, it seemed.  She was colicky and that meant lots of holding.  Then it was just over and she moved on. It's a precious moment if she sits down in my lap for a few minutes without me begging her to, and she only falls asleep on me if she's not feeling well.  She's a completely solitary sleeper.  

How interesting it is to see how they already differ, and to see how something so small could show us their true personalities.  

Remember?

Many years from now when Gabrielle has children of her own on Mother's Day, I will say to her "Gabbie, do you remember the time that we were shopping at Target on Mother's Day and you laid down on the floor and threw a fit?"

Caterpillar.

"Hey Gabbie, do you know what a Caterpillar turns into when it becomes a grown-up?

"A momma?"  

Well... Kind of.  

:)

Ms. Delilah

As you may have noticed, most posts right now are about Gabbie.  Honestly, she's at an age where she says and does hilarious things... She's borderline slapstick.  

Lilah is a more subtle funny.  And by that, I mean sassy and kinda naughty.  She says things with a valley girl whine (Momma, Daddy, Gabbie, Bagel, No, Yes are among her top hits), and speaking of hits, does she ever.  She antagonizes her big sister, and she's got a bit of a temper.  She pretends to be deaf when I call for her, but can hear me say cracker, fruit, or milk from 2 room away.  She does a fantastic duck face for pictures, and when she's done wrong, she is quite a runner!

She only stops moving to eat, she's a carb junkie, she barely lets us snuggle her, and she can leave a path of destruction much greater in size than you would expect.  

She loves Frozen, loves to dress up and accessorize and crayons are a favorite snack, these days.

Next month, I will start thinking about her 2nd birthday, which is in August.  My baby baby is almost 2.  I feel like she was just born, and like she's been here forever.  

Hey momma

"Hey momma!"

"Yes, Gabbie?"

"I'm a princess.  This is my tail."

So then I had to explain that princesses usually have a train, not a tail.  That led to a discussion about how there is more than 1 kind of train.  

A couple of minutes later....

"I'm a ghost!  Rawr!"  

An entire play room full of toys and she has the most fun with bedding.  

A real mother.

So as Joel was putting Gabbie to bed tonight, it was thundering outside. She asked what was going on out there and he explained that it was Mother Nature.  She looked at him and said "She's not a very nice momma."

Indeed.

Worst ever.

This fit was brought to you by a mean mother, who wouldn't give a meals' worth of snacks at bedtime, to a little girl who barely touched her dinner.

I'm pretty much the worst ever.  

My sister did it.

As we were driving to church today, Joel turned around and saw that Gabbie had drawn on the inside of the van using the chalk from her purse. He asked her if she had colored the inside of his van with crayon.  She corrected him that it was NOT crayon, but was chalk.  Then she said, "I don't want to talk about that." Ultimately the blame fell to Lilah, even though she sits on the other side of the van.

Then I turned to take this picture and she tried to cover it with her hands so I couldn't see it.  

Dear Jesus...

Tonight's prayer:

"Dear Jesus:

Thank you for Papa.  Thank you for pee.  Thank you for my toilet.  Love, Gabbie."

Ummm.......

Ordinary day.

This weekend was pretty ordinary.  Yesterday, Gabbie had a play date with a friend and then they came over for dinner.  Today we went to church, and both girls got their haircut.

It was Lilahs first haircut, and I booked it for right after church, like a rookie.  She was so tired from not getting her morning nap that she threw a fit most of the time, and ended up getting her hair cut while Joel held her, in front of a retail display with lots of fun toys to look at.  In spite of her "spirited" demeanor, the cut turned out absolutely adorable, thanks to her wonderful stylist.  (It had started to get very long on the top, but underneath was still shorter, so It had this awkward style about it.). Then we went for a cupcake and headed home. 

We played and had dinner, before the girls went to bed.  

Like I said, pretty ordinary.  It was so wonderful.  Spring is starting to pop up a bit, so the girls could walk around outside, and they are getting to an age where they play well together (most of the time).  

Sometimes I feel like these ordinary days are something that we hurry through to get onto the next big event... The next big milestone, party, trip, etc.  I think we forget that these are the days that matter most.  These are the days when we are helping our children turn into who they will be and helping them figure out what they love to do.

These days count, too.  

:)

What a trip.

This blog post will not be about the ladies.  Well, not really.  

I took a vacation with a dear friend to Washington DC/Virginia.  Just us; no husbands, no kids.  We stayed with her wonderful, warm, accommodating and patient aunt and uncle.  Since Gabbie was born over 3 years ago, I've only been away from her for 2 nights (hospital stay aside), and Lilah is now 19 months and I've never had an evening away from her.  While I understand that this is very common for many moms, I needed a break.  DC has been a dream of mine for nearly 15 years, and everything worked out for this trip.  I knew I couldn't bring the girls to all of these museums (they are a bit too spirited to be patient for an hour during a tour of America through the wars), so I knew my poor husband would have to sit this one out.  Next time, dear.

I prepared my home and my family for the trip: I cleaned, grocery shopped, laid out outfits, and even ordered bribery for Gabbie.  My husband is very capable, but I was also nervous.  I checked in with them via video chat at least once a day, and texted my husband frequently.

I slept in a bed without being sleep-kicked by a three year old.  I went to the bathroom without having someone trying to bang down the door to see where I went.  I ate delicious foods and didn't share my plate with someone else.  I even had a little time to find some boredom, just looking around me.  (The same cannot be said for Joel, I know.  I'm certain he lived on Starbucks.)

I saw memorials, museums, monuments, and even the presidential motorcade.  We rode the metro, got lost in the rain, shopped at street vendors, and I took hundreds of photos.  I'm sure some folks would have preferred a beachy vacation, or all all-inclusive resort, but this was my dream.  I went in my late teens with my family, and while I enjoyed the trip, I didn't really appreciate it.  I'm sure most of us didn't really appreciate a lot of things we did as teens.  

This time I was enthralled.  I loved hearing the stories, reading the information cards, and seeing our history.  The First Ladies dresses, the china pattern in the Washington White House, the military fatigues from the different wars... It's all part of what made our country.  Arlington was incredibly humbling, seeing the resting place for so many thousands who made so many sacrifices.  

Then I got souvenirs for my family.  I got some apparel for the girls that says Future President on it, which is quite cute.  It's very cool to live in a country, knowing that regardless of skin color or gender, it's a possibility for any child who is born here to hold a position of such prestige.  Even if not the leader of the free world, they could be Secret Service, a doctor, a researcher, a pastor, a teacher.... They could really be someone who shapes a life and makes a difference.  

There were lots of class trips there for spring break, and it made me really look forward to going with the girls when the time comes.  

I am on the plane now, heading home to see my family and to have what I am sure will be a chaotic weekend, and I am so excited.  My batteries are recharged and I'm ready to go.  

(Don't worry about Joel.... We are going on a small kid-free vacation next year.  That one will have a sandy beach.)

Starburst

This fit is brought to you by 2 little Starburst candies.  

It was a reminder that not all of these moments are happy or joyous, but they are memorable.  

Gender stereotypes

Today we took Gabbie to Build A Bear to get a bear for a goal she's trying to achieve right now. We walked in and she looked at the wall of bears and all of their colors and shapes and she chose a blue bear. Initially I wanted to steer her back toward a pink or even a rainbow bear but I stopped myself.  

Then we went to the wall of clothes; they had a special where you could pick two outfits from the wall for $15. So I told her she could pick one and then she and I would pick the other one together. I kept wanting her to pick girly colors and girly outfits but she kept going back to the outlets for the little boy bears (which were pretty cute little surfer type outfits).  She chose a boy outfit, for her boy bear, and together we chose a white dress for if she wants her boy to be a girl sometimes. 

She wasn't able to think of a name for her bear, so I told her we could come back another day and get his certificate.  

The pink bear that was the twin to her blue bear was very cute.  The outfits for the girl bears were alright - a lot of halter and cropped tops, honestly.  (Why does a bear need to show midriff?)  Why did I feel like her choosing a girl bear would have been better?  What did I care?  

I certainly don't care that she chooses cars as often as dolls when we play at home.  She knows more about pirates than princesses, and we are happy, as long as they are happy. 

I was so frustrated with myself for nearly putting the pink bear in her hand.  Who am I to determine the gender of this bag of fluff?

Unfortunately, this gender stereotyping would be something that both my girls encounter very often in their lives. It has gotten a lot better than it was even when I was a kid from when my mom was a kid, but we still have a very long ways to go.  

I look forward to continuing to teach the girls that it's totally ok to be a superhero, and play with cars, and make pretend dinner, and wear a crown, and be "girlie girls" with the "hearts of boys".  

They were perfectly made to be wonderfully unique.

(The photo I am attaching to this blog post is a picture of her about a week before, playing with her cousin Teegan and sorting out cars.  Gabbie is very methodical with her cars.)

Just another day.

 "Look sister, it's just me Gabbie, and now I'm Batman."

"No.  No no no no.  No!"

My girls.

Delilah wasn't feeling well today (teething, I think), so I was holding her while I made dinner. I asked her if she was being a "mama's girl" today and Gabbie yelled at me from the bathroom, "No!  I am your girl!".  

I never understood parents loving both kids equally but differently... Until I had 2 of my own.  

My little superhero.

Gabbie loves to wear her Batman mask from Halloween.  Sometimes when we are in the playroom she puts it on and just wear it around. Lilah, however, does not like the mask and every time Gabbie puts it on Lilah goes running and crying , looking for a grown-up. I feel like a terrible mom, but it makes me laugh so much when this happens. Today when Gabbie did it, she made sure to tell Lilah that she was a good guy and was here to help. It made me laugh even harder but it was so cute, at the same time.  

Beauty.

"Momma, are you big or little?"  

From the mouths of babes comes this loaded question.  Gabbie is three and she's learning about sizes: big, little, small, tiny.  How do I answer that question?  Unfortunately, this question will likely plague her a lot when she is much older, unless she is very confident, or our world changes very drastically.

As a baby, I was roly poly, with chunky legs and chubby cheeks.  I was large at birth and stayed that way until I was a toddler.  Then I thinned out, as most people do.  I was very thin into my 20s; blessed by good genetics and a high metabolism; I never once worried about what I was eating or dieting or anything like it.  I never read Cosmo (didn't even know what it was until I was 19), thought eating disorders only happened in zip codes like 90210, and had an insatiable sweet tooth.  Well, eventually things caught up with me, and I started gaining weight.  I was never obese, but I certainly missed my size 00 days.  

	As a kid, I was awkward in (many) ways, but that's a story for a different day.

I'm proud of my body.  It has carried both of my daughters into this world, it has rocked a sick or tired baby, it has lugged them both around for the last 3 years, it has seen me through many trying times, and the week after Lilah was born it almost gave out on me.  It isn't perfect, and it's rounder and softer and squishier than I wish, but it's a work in progress.

Fortunately, I have a wonderful husband who loves me as I am, and I am working on getting back to a size that I would be happier with.  I don't diet, I never say words like "fat", "obese", "diet", "scale" or the like.  I never want my girls to look at themselves and see anything but an amazing person.  I also believe that how they see me treat myself is very critical to their sense of self-worth.  If I constantly stare in the mirror, or call myself unkind words, they WILL see me that way, they will see their peers that way, and they will see themselves that way.  I don't want them to grow up in a "Mean Girls" world, but for that to happen, they need to be kind to themselves first.

So, what was my answer when she asked if I was big or little?  Fortunately, Joel took that one and said that Lilah is the littlest, then Gabbie, then Momma, then Daddy is the biggest.  Thank goodness this was a simple one to answer, but I'm already preparing for the day when it's not so easy.  

Olivya

I went to check on Gabs before bed, and Olivya is in there, sleeping at the foot of her bed.  She must be protecting her from the monsters.  I love our pup.  

Bed crasher

So, Gabbie is transitioning from sleeping in our bed sleeping and her own "big girl bed".  Each night one takes her to bed sits there as she goes to sleep, which usually takes 45 minutes to an hour, and at one or two in the morning she's back in our bed.  When she's sharing a bed with us she sleeps between us, and one of us can count on not getting much sleep from her moving around a lot and kicking and punching in her sleep.  Some days it's quite rough.  

Then there are days like this morning when I wake up and look over at her and here is an image of what I see...Then I have to remind myself that she won't want to sleep in our bed forever and in fact she might not want to be around us for a long time when she gets older, so I need to cherish these moments while I've got them.

Ow ow ow ow!

From Gabbie as I was putting her to bed:

"Ow ow ow ow!"

(Me) - "what's wrong, sweetie?"

(Her) - "My mouth just bit my hand!"

Where does she come up with these things? 

Learned behavior.

As we were getting ready to go this morning, Gabbie looks at me and Joel and yells....

"You guys are driving me f------ nuts!"

Um, what?!  I guess she pays more attention to the words that the tallest member of the household says than he thought.  I've been working on his "word of choice" for 2 years, and now she has outed his "when momma is not around" phrase of choice for when his fuse for fussing is short.  Hm.  It took all I had not to correct her language (don't want to sensationalize it), but to walk away, growling to my husband to fix it.  

Yeah, it's cute.... When it's someone else's kid. 

Blergh.  Give me a dozen years..... It may be funny again.   

He's a keeper.

My ladies are very fortunate to have such an awesome daddy.  (I'm also fortunate to have an awesome husband, of course.)  He's more involved with them than a lot of other dads I've seen. 
Sometimes he paints Gabbie's fingernails and toenails for her. Sometimes he goes out to the van to get her baby doll after the sun has gone down and it's quite cold.  Sometimes he horses around in the playroom with both girls in a way only a daddy can do. 
Last night was our daughter's first night in her new "big girl bed". It took over an hour for us to get her to finally go to sleep and understand that there were no monsters coming for her. Shortly after we went to bed,  she came in looking for help with the monsters. I was so asleep I barely knew she was there, but my husband was off right away to take her back to her own room. I slept the entire night as peaceful as a baby, and when I woke up this morning I discovered it was just me and the cat and the dog in bed. My husband had gone with her to her room to get her back to sleep and stuck around for the rest of the night. Here is a picture of them in her new bed. 

Take another one...

There is a song that is many years older than me by a wonderful artist by the name of Janis Joplin.  Part of the refrain goes, "take another little piece of my heart now, baby."  

Each day with children is like this.  

Before I had children, I had a ton of professional aspirations, and Joel and I had lots of things we wanted to do.  Vacations to take, goals to accomplish, things to buy, etc.  It took until Gabbie was a few months old, but I realized that all I wanted to do was raise my kid(s) to be happy, well-adjusted, smart, loving, well-rounded, and to have heart.  Easy peasy, right?  

I didn't feel like I was giving up on "my" goals, but they eventually became family goals.  "I" became "we", "mine" became "ours", and our family was changing from 3 people into a unit.

I have been emerging from my long-term "new baby mommy cloud", a little each day, but I still have such a sense of accomplishment when my kids do something new, which is daily these days.  So what, I got a 99% on my first college class since the 90s?  Gabbie went a week with no accidents, can count to 12 and comes up with complex sentences daily.  Who cares that we are accomplishing our (modest) savings goals?  Lilah's troublesome canines came in and the molars are on their way, too.  

Each day, the things these kids do just amazes me.  I don't know that I will ever not be amazed.  One day they will do something so mundane to them, that will be so awesome for me, and they will roll their eyes for my excitement.  My mom called me at work awhile back and I was out servicing some equipment that had broken.  When I called her back, she said she didn't realize that I was trained on how to fix it.  It was such a normal, average part of my job that I never even thought she might think it was cool.  It's so strange to be the mom and the kid at the same time.  

We are endlessly, annoyingly proud.  I am sure others don't love to hear our parent stories all the time, but we don't really care.  We love them so much, and it's so amazing to watch them grow.  It's not easy to put it out there for everyone to see.  There's so much judgment, especially in social media.  Each picture or story makes us vulnerable.  Heck, even this entry makes me vulnerable.  

These children are my (our) absolute best, greatest accomplishments.  They are living, breathing, giggling, dancing, sassing, loving works of art and love.  Every day we come back to these masterpieces, tweak a little here and there, and step back to see how they do in the world.  I give them  a piece of my heart every single day.  

"Just one more huggy, momma."

"Momma!  Lilah is sharing with me!  Good girl, sister!"

"Momma, don't give up.  You can do it."  

Geez, kiddo.  Here's my whole heart.  Take it.  Just please.... Share with your sister and daddy.

Hold me

Each night as we put Gabbie to bed, we get her settled in, get her a "baby" and a blankie, and each night she says the same thing.

"Hold me."

Oh sweets..... I wish I could forever. 

A lovely challenge

Every time we have our children professionally photographed, I feel like the photographer and the parents become a tag team with the children and it is  eventually turned into a contact sport.  Because our ladies are so spirited, I have found that we cannot do studio photography... It takes a very special kind of person to be able to get good pictures from such busy little people.  With all of the commotion in most studios, and typically the limited time frame, we have a very difficult time getting them used to the photographer before we have to be out the door for the next person's appointment to come in. 

I am very envious of the families who bring in perfectly dressed, beautifully-coiffed children and babies, posed perfectly and pictures turn out wonderfully on the first try. That is not my family.

Thank goodness we have some wonderful friends who are very talented in that area.  Last night, one is being photographed, we are negotiating with the other one to get dressed and to stop crying, and we have a barking dog in the background. It was pandemonium.  Then once everybody is dressed and we're almost posed, one of them is either in tears, or off playing with something else again. It's like trying to catch lightning in a bottle.  There is a lot of bribery involved to get a few good shots.  Thank goodness my friend is so patient.

At one point she was standing upstairs dangling a stuffed animal over the banister , my children who were supposed to be seated in a leather chair looking up at her, praying that she will just drop the toy and let them go back to playing.

Ah well.  I guess I can't say my life is boring, right? 

( I am attaching a picture I took of them trying to get them settled in during our session. Cute, but not settled.)

Gabbie's big weekend!

Ms Gabs had a very big weekend.  Friday we had a date with my mom (Nana) at a local kids "spa and salon", as a gift from my mom to Gabbie for her birthday.  She got a manicure, sparkly tattoo, some very light makeup and rhinestones, and a few other things.  She had so much fun.  We also had lunch and did a little shopping.

Then Saturday was her birthday party!  She had so much fun with her family and a few friends.  We had pizza and cake at Rocky's.... And presents.  Oh the presents!  I don't usually think my kids are spoiled, but she was VERY blessed with lots of gifts.  Clothes, toys, a big wheel, a big girl bike, lots of girlie accessory items, etc.  There were even a few items for Lilah.  We also played a few arcade games.... she just wanted to put her "money" in the machines.... She didn't care much about the tickets. 

Today we saw her first movie (Frozen).  She was so great - she sat for nearly 2 hours, loving the unlimited popcorn.  I loved the story - a love story about the love between 2 sisters.  Then we got her first haircut.  

We went back to the same place, and saw the same wonderful lady.  Gabbie wore some new boots, which she got from our awesome daycare provider.  They are owls (this will matter).  As she was up in the chair, in her cape, with her hair all separated out for cutting, she jumps off and runs over to a sales display.  The store has several displays of things that appeal to young ladies (ages 2-12).  She grabbed an owl backpack, and started putting it on.  I took it off her, and she yelled at me: "Stop being mean to me!  I need it and it matches my owls!"  She was accessorizing her boots.  After a lot of negotiating and discussion, her haircut was done, complete with a blue sparkly hair feather.  

Whew.  What a weekend.  Tomorrow the girls get their pictures done, which is always mostly fun, with only a little pandemonium trying to get them to cooperate.  :)

My baby is turning 3!

Gabbie is turning 3 on Sunday, and (like any other mom would say) I have mixed feelings.  

I am so happy to be watching her grow and learn each day, and I love being a part of the scenery as she develops her relationship with her sister.  I love the days when she falls asleep in our bed, because cuddling with her as she sleeps is one of the best things on earth.  Even on her sassy, "definitely a toddler" days, she is still a cuddly, silly, sneaky, smarty-pants little lady.  I love watching her learn something, or figure out something new.  I love listening to her put together bigger sentences.  

On the other hand....

She's getting too big for me to carry.  She's already in a size 4, which is on the upper end of baby/toddler clothes.  She had a big girl salon day today, with a tot manicure, a sparkly "tattoo", and some very light makeup.  She has her first haircut on her actual birthday on Sunday, and we are going to her first movie theater movie (Frozen) that day as well.  She got a big girl bed for her birthday, and loves it.  

The conundrum is that while I love sharing these moments, we won't have them again.  Of course, we have them with Lilah, but there's something very fleeting about these moments with our firstborn.  In a few months I will be writing about how once we don't have them any more with Lilah, we will no longer have them again.

So, happy birthday to my spirited Gabrielle.  Each day we try to cherish every moment - even the times  when you ask us to leave you alone, or lay on the floor in the middle of a department store because I didn't buy you the backpack you NEEDED.

No matter how big you will get, you will always be our Babylady.  

(These pics are the beginning and ends of age 2.)

Karma

Now, I'm going to be honest here... I was kind of an awesome kid. I barely gave my parents any trouble, and never talked back, and I was a loving sister to my younger brother.
However if you were to try to corroborate the story with my parents, they would probably tell you I had sticky fingers.  I would occasionally take a dollar or two from their purses or wallets to purchase a treat on my way to school at the local gas station.  There were times when I took more than that but those were pretty rare. I looked at these opportunities as a delayed receipt of my certainly earned allowance.
This morning my husband called asking me if I was missing three dollars from my wallet. Sure enough, I go into my purse into my wallet, and discover that Gabs had taken my last three dollars.
I've always known this was going to come back to me, however I never would have imagined it would be so early.

Welcome!!!

Welcome to my corner of the internet!  This blog will be about my daughters - the sweet things, the crazy things, the hilarious things, and the remarkable things they say and do.  This will be my digital "baby book"; my love story to them, and dated evidence of how crazy they WILL make me, so I can remind them of it one day when they are about to put me in a home.  

Right now they are thisclose to being 3 and 16 months.  I work full- time outside the home, so we have evenings and weekends as a family, which I cherish.  

My first post...

As Joel was putting Gabs to bed, she said that Jesus can only come to her birthday party if he brings her a candy cane.  

There you have it.  My first gem.  :)